I’m 1 week away from being 5 months out from surgery. I’ve seen so many changes in the last 5 months, not just from my deflating body, but also on how I view and participate in life.
Last week I went on vacation to San Francisco. I flew in a plane, in coach and I wasn’t miserable. I haven’t been on a plane since 1999 and part of that was because of my weight and another part was because of money. While in San Francisco, my mom and sister and I walked a total of 40 miles in the 5 days we were there and we also biked. I haven’t been on a bike in over a decade because I was always too heavy. I’ve been doing things that I haven’t done in a really long time because I’m no longer 400 lbs.
I’m happy and I don’t think I will ever regret having the surgery. Before the surgery I was also happy, but I had limited ability to do things I wanted to do, so I knew that there was room for me to be happier. I wouldn’t necessarily say I am happier now though. In order to have the ability to participate in life, I had to take away one of my coping mechanisms for life which was food. I can’t eat as much as I used to, so I sometimes have to be very picky about what I choose for my meals. The giant bag of chips I would have gorged myself on before surgery looks different to me now. It’s no longer my way to forget about a bad day, but instead is a food that tastes good, but will not give me the protein I need and I know I will feel gross if I eat them. I do have chips every once in a while, but it’s maybe a handful. Depriving myself of things doesn’t work for me, but I needed to recognize that a handful of chips tastes the same as a bagful. Eating more doesn’t equal greater pleasure and in fact eating more usually equals feeling guilty and remorseful.
I made the decision a couple weeks ago to sell my bigger dresses on eBay. I listed 15 of my 3x and 4x size dresses and they all sold. I ended up getting $200 for all of them. I wanted to try and have them resized, but it just seemed easier to start over with a new collection. Plus shopping for smaller clothes is kind of awesome now.
So I’m a week away from the 5 month mark and as of today I am down 168 pounds since my highest, I have 52 more pounds to go until I hit my goal weight, and I’ve lost a little over 75% of my excess weight. With the sleeve the average excess weight loss is 50-60%, so I am doing very well so far.